[This face may be familiar to certain, older City dwellers, but said face appears to be completely unfamiliar with the City. Nathan is currently wearing a lovely, orange jumpsuit. An indicator of exactly how much of a well behaved, law abiding citizen he is these days.]

Okay, much as I appreciate the jail break? A little explanation might be nice here. Or, you know, maybe an introduction.

You give me a name, we discuss whatever power bullshit you're pulling here over some nice tea and biscuits... then when you turn out to be a homicidal maniac who wants to murder me, you trip and fall in this fountain and I dispose of your body. Sound good?

[Yeah, he wasn't really expecting to get far with that.]

You could at least replace my shoe. Maybe give me some dope. It's the least you can do since you didn't kidnap me before the police confiscated it.

[ooc: Nathan will of course be regaining his memories of the City soon enough.]

[Now, would Nathan be left out on a curse like today? Of course not. He doesn't seem as bothered by his t-shirt as some citizens, not even bothering to zip up his hoodie to try and hide the message.

I SHAT MYSELF IN MY COFFIN AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT

He stretches out the material so it can be read clearly, then lets it go.]

Okay, so how many of you can spend days in a coffin without either taking a shit or having your bowels explode everywhere? I bet even the deities couldn't hold it that long.

[Anyone think the City was getting too quiet lately? No? Well, tough. Everyone's favourite delinquent is back on the scene anyway.

But even Nathan looks lost for words this time. At least for a moment. The beginnings of a bruise are already starting to spread across his cheek.]

Someone just hit me in the face with a dildo.

[Unless anyone happens to be familiar with Nathan's butt, it probably isn't immediately obvious just whose device this is. Filming from behind is slightly awkward, so there's a bit of fumbling before Nathan manages to focus it on a fresh, slightly sore looking star and dice tattoo on his left hip. Satisfied, Nathan moves the camera to focus on his face, yanking his trousers back up.]

Pretty good, huh? I haven't had a new one in a while, and after that whole unicorn thing I thought I could do with one.

Oh, and if anyone's up for cards, I'm setting up a gambling business with Curtis. I'm trying out that whole responsible adult thing, so we're having a practice game at his and Alisha's next Saturday.

[Did everyone think they were finally rid of this loudmouth asshole? Well, tough luck. He's back. He doesn't look too happy about it, either. Not even in the beautifully patterned Christmas jumper he's wearing.]

Come on! Seriously? It's been like two days. You couldn't have given me a little longer? You know. Now I've actually found a reason I want to stay back home. I almost didn't mind being a homeless.

Here. Look. [He fumbles in the pockets of his jeans for his phone, tongue between his teeth as he focuses on the screen.] C'mon, c'mon...

[With a triumphant grin, Nathan finds what he's been looking for, holding it up to the screen so everyone can see the picture he's taken. It's a close up of a vagina. Not exactly surprising to most people who've spoken to him, most likely. What's probably more noteworthy is the fact the woman in the photograph is in labour. The early stages of crowning, to be exact. Nathan taps the little that's visible of the baby's head, tearfully proud.]

Isn't he beautiful? I delivered him nearly all by myself.

[ooc; So, Nathan's updated to just after 2x07, meaning lots of exciting changes to play with. Hooray!]

[The video opens up with a shot of Alisha’s tits from above, if anyone’s familiar enough with her anatomy to recognise them. She is dressed, but being Alisha her top still gives a generous view. “Alisha” puts the device down on the table. She appears to be eating breakfast with Nathan.

“Nathan” looks like the sexy bastard he is. He’s wearing the tightest little shorts (which is probably very Nathan of him) and no shirt at all. He’s standing over by the sink, moving his arm up and down to see the non-existent muscles at work there.

“Alisha” takes a big mouthful of cereal before speaking, milk dribbling down her chin.]

You know, they don’t look so good from up here. I’m starting to see why girls never feel good about themselves.

[ “Nathan” turns around and glares. Look at that skinny chest and one pack! He’s so skin and bones, no wonder no one wants to shag him. ] Could you be anymore fucking disgusting? Stop looking at my tits and stop eating like you’re the retard that you are!

Pervert.

[ “Alisha” pulls a face, letting a wad of half-chewed cereal fall out of her-- or, okay-- his mouth. It’s probably fairly obvious there’s a curse at work here, and Nathan and Alisha are not in their rightful bodies. “Nathan” looks disgusted, which, with his face, looks sort of like surprise or constipation. Alisha isn’t quite sure yet. ]

I’m not the one walking around next to naked. Did you come over like that, or did you just strip off in the hallway?

[ Classic Alisha eyeroll in the form of Nathan’s sexy green eyes. ] How is me coming in with only my undies any different from what you do? [ Consider the (furralicious) eyebrow cocked. ] Still has the same scarring effect.

[Nathan-in-Alisha shrugs, giving his real body an appreciative look,] Ordinarily I’d make some sort of comment about your boyfriend here, but after what I saw this morning I’ve got to admit he’s not too bad. If I wasn’t a lesbian I probably would’ve gone for it.

[ “Nathan’s” lip curls in what can only be absolute disgust. ] You’re disgusting. You’re not coming into my flat anymore, either. My arse is so itchy. [ This could be a lie, you never know. But being in Nathan’s body has caused some allergic reaction for Alisha. It’s probably because he’s such a wanker. ]

[Which just provokes raised eyebrows from the real Nathan.] Would you like me to come over there and scratch it for you?

I want you nowhere near me. [ Which is hilarious, since he’s in her. “Nathan” will scratch his bum, possibly pulling at the tiny shorts he is wearing. ] Dick. [ … ] What the fuck do you wash these with? I need to change. This underwear is giving me a fucking rash.

I don’t know, do I? Washing powder. [There’s pause in which “Alisha” shrugs, and another mouthful of cereal is taken,] Whatever, man. Your knickers are really comfortable. We should switch more often.

( ooc | body swap! nathan will be replying as awkwards and alisha will be designedtoparty. backdated to first thing saturday morning. )

[Naturally, Nathan's been out collecting as much dirt on other people as he can today, as evidenced by the photos scattered on his bed. There a few placed off to one side, though, far more carefully than the ones in front of him. One of a middle aged woman kissing a contented Nathan's cheek. A blurry image of someone tucking a young man under some blankets. And perhaps more familiar to City dwellers, a shot of Campbell, Dulcie, and Nathan when they held their drag party. There's also one of Nathan and Dulcie curled up on her couch. But these aren't the one's he's focussed on just now.

First of all he holds up a photo of Stephen with a young Chinese girl clinging to his arm]

Thought you said you didn't have a thing with her? You know it's okay to like girls, right, man? Sixteen isn't even really that young to be shagging them. At least it's legal.

[He holds up another photo, this time of Cersei and a tall blonde boy.] You see my point there? He's like fifteen, tops. [Because obviously you have to be sleeping with someone to be in the same photo as them.]

[Today Nathan is hijacking Simon, Alisha's, and Curtis' flat. He's in their kitchen, stealing their beer and getting cigarette ash all over their counter. But that's okay, because he's doing Curtis a favour. One he didn't ask for, it's important to add. Curtis is smart enough to know not to ask Nathan for anything if he wants it to go according to plan.]

Hey, Frankie. You still looking for someone retarded enough to want to take over your bar? Because I reckon I've got a friend who'd be willing to do that for you.

We did community service together, so he's pretty desperate. Who wants to hire someone with a drug problem? Though to be fair to him I think he's mostly over that now. He's got practice in bar keeping, or whatever, and it's not like it can be that hard.

[Nathan leans closer to the camera, as though confiding something. Which might work better if he bothered with filters every now and then.]

Between you and me, he's got a bit of a habit of handing out free drinks, so you might want to watch him on that one. He's pretty all right other than that, though. And it's not like you've got anyone else lining up to do it. [Well. He does. But like Nathan pays enough attention Frankie's life to know little things like that.]

[So, here is Nathan, looking a little older, a little wiser... No? Okay. About the only difference is a hair cut and some rather unimpressive face fuzz. Clearly all his facial hair genes dedicated themselves to his eyebrows.

Besides that, though, he seems remarkably unchanged. He's even back in a florescent orange jumpsuit, this one is even short sleeved. He seems relieved by his surroundings, although he is missing one of his shoes.]

Nice timing you've got there, deities. I thought I was going to be anally violated for sure. Like my ass wasn't killing me already.

Hey, City. You want to see what I can do?

[He doesn't wait for a response before starting what looks like a rather violent combination of dry heaving and choking. Whatever it is he's doing, it looks extremely painful. At least if the way he's clutching his stomach is anything to go by.] Okay. Shit. Not a bird... not a bird. [He looks like he's concentrating intensely for a moment before starting up retching again, looking as if he can't so much as breathe for a minute or two before reaching frantically inside his mouth to yank out a corn snake that seems to have been the source of his discomfort. It's another minute or two before he's capable of talking again.]

Okay, so animals out of orifices? Turns out that's always a bad idea.

[ooc: Nathan is affected with Age Reversal this weekend and so will be aged up to after the events of Vegas Baby! All replies will be coming from realitywarping.]

[Nathan is slumped on the couch at Dulcie's old flat, idly flicking ash from the joint he's smoking onto the floor. He also has Stephen Stills' cat on his lap and a sequinned cowboy hat on his head. They have sentimental value, okay? Despite all the other signs, however, he looks fairly cheerful.]

So, turns out gambling's best done sober. I've lost count of the amount of times that's turned out badly.

Anyone fancy a drink? I could use someone to buy for me.

So, hey. I've got my birthday coming up this month, so while we're all making suggestions, I'm going to suggest you all come along to my party. It doesn't really matter how well I know you, so long as you aren't going to stand around being all night. Just make sure you bring booze. It's not like I can afford to buy enough for all of you. [Or anyone, probably.] Weed'd be a nice addition. Maybe someone could bring along some E, or something.

It's probably going to be on the 15th. Or the 16th, if there's a really bad curse going. Sort of hard to tell around here.

[He's about to switch off his device when he realises he's forgotten one important detail.]

Hey, Barry. When's your flat going to be most freed up? You don't have plans those days, do you?

[Asking people whether they'll host your party before deciding to hold it there is overrated.]

Any word on when this whole desert thing's going to be over with?

I like getting sun as much as any man, but this is ridiculous. I'm starting to think I won't have skin left by the time this gets fixed, and I've got sand in places I didn't know existed. I'm about ready to start pissing sand any day now.

[Here is a roof. A pretty sandy roof, but that isn't exactly unusual given the City's current love of sand. Nathan is sprawled on a pile of discarded clothes, naked, and more than a little sweaty. Well... nearly naked. He does still have sunglasses on. Not that those really make that much difference.]

I would've gone to the beach, but there isn't much point right now. Less kids up here, too.

[Nathan shifts with a groan, rolling over to retrieve a nearby bottle of water.]

I'd complain about getting beach balls, but I have a feeling going to be worth it for the tan I'll get from this.

All right. Two days of over population I can handle, but three's getting a bit much. The deities had better not be thinking of making this permanent.

Anyone here I actually care about or have the deities decided to be boring this time?

[ooc: As usual, anything goes. Duplicates, face doubles, canon puncture... whatever else I'm missing is all good. If anyone wants action Nathan will be wandering around causing trouble.]

[Nathan looks a little grumpy today, although at least he's human. Which is more than can be said for yesterday.]

All right. So, whichever bastards were trying to eat me yesterday had better watch their backs. Because I am back, and I'm not letting you get away with that shit today.

[He spreads his arms in a 'just try and sink your claws into me now' sort of gesture. It's not really as impressive as he'd like to think it is.] Not so tiny now, am I? And I'll tell you now, it's hell of a lot easier to punch when you don't have wings.