( the device has been strategically placed to record the following couple of seconds, which might be better described as a "fucking disaster". the camera remains fixed on one of the walls to the kogarasumaru base and it's almost boring because it's about half a minute of looking at nothing but a brick wall. )

—Waaauuughhhhh!!

( then, in one blaze of screaming and rubble, ikki comes bursting through what was just a wall about 30 seconds ago, arms failing before colliding hard against the ground. for a moment, he doesn't nothing but lay against the ground in a crumpled and pathetic heap, but it really only lasts a moment before he's picking himself back up and turning towards the skateboard that he had been riding. yeah, a skateboard that'll never been ridden again because it snapped in half. )

Fuuuuuuck!! There's not enough room in there!!

( a pause as he pulls at his face with dirty hands. )

It needs to be bigger! ( another pause and then he's turning towards the device, finger outstretched. you know, like the crashing bit never happened. )

YO NETWORK! THAT'S HOW A GOD RIDES A SKATEBOARD! DID IT BRING A TEAR TO YOUR EYE? OF COURSE IT DID AND YOU CAN OFFER UP TRIBUTE BY DONATING SOME FREAKIN' EXPLOSIVES. YOU CAN'T EXPECT MY MINIONS TO REBUILD IN THIS KIND OF CONDITION!

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

Hey, City! It sounds like you guys got a . . . ( dramatic pause. ) little robot problem today!!

This sounds like a job for The Great Minami Ikki-sama: ROBOT CRUSHER EXTRAORDINAIRE! For only a couple of coins, I'll free you from the metallic clutches of these nagging assholes!

( the camera then jumps to the crumpled heap of a robot laying pathetically on the floor. )




( [ DEITY FILTER ] )

(( ooc: SORRY FOR MY BRIEF MIA STINT, POLY. I'VE RETURNED NOW TO GET BACK INTO THINGS FULL SWING!! ♥ ))

( THUNK THUNK THUNK. the sound echoes through the device as ikki jabs his fingernail against the screen a couple times. he looks marginally older, features a little sharper, or at least what can be seen around the huge goggles plastered over his eyes.

there's a pause as he frowns, hand lifting to scratch at his hair. )

Shit, I think it's broken. It's been making weird noises all day. Is that shit normal? You know, it's like the noise you hear from an alarm clock? It goes "eeeh! ehh! ehh!" every few minutes!

C'mon, this can't just be me, man. Someone else has gotta have this problem.

Pretty sure these things shouldn't make noise at all. Fuck! It's driving me crazy.

( he slips his goggles up to capture a good solid look at the cross-shaped pupil staining his eye as he inspects the device.

there's a brief thoughtful pause. )

. . . Maybe I'll just break it apart properly. ♥

(( ooc: years that never were curse! some replies will be coming from devastates for icons! ikki's about 19 and rather than win, he had lost to sora, damned the world, and etc. ))

( blood.

the first thing that the video feed captures is the sight of ikki's bloodied knuckles, but it's unclear if it belongs to him or someone else. considering that it's ikki, both options are equally likely. his hand reaches out to grab onto the device, giving a brief shot of his equally bloody and mucked up face before the video feed abruptly clicks off.

but audio's still running. he sounds incredibly exhausted and suspiciously like he was just coming down from an adrenaline high. )

Haaaah. Shit. That didn't work. Fuck it, I'll keep trying!

But, damnit, I couldn't remember anything at all once I left. I wrote it on my arms, but even that didn't work. It's like it never even happened at all. Like this place never happened, you know like a horrible dream or something. ( pause. ) But if someone can leave the city can come back, can't someone else in the city be the one to drag 'em back? Seems like it should work that way, yeah?

Right? Riiiiight?

It's stupid for it to be any other way! Otherwise why the hell take me back here? I've already got a home, ya stingy bastards!

( pause. and there's quiet laughter as ikki rocks back and forth on his back like a fallen turtle. )

But I get it, I get it! Everyone's aching for a little bit of the great Sky King's attention! Got two whole world screaming out my name, man!

( it's silent for a long moment, enough to think that the feed has cut out before ikki speaks up again. )

. . . Damn, what day is it here?

(( ooc: back from his final canon update! new title achieved! +11,000 ego points. ))

( the device comes whirring to life, lighting up as the video feed activates, when a small hunk of minced up wood bounces off of the grass and slams against the corner of the communicator. it catches a clear view of a desolate area in the forest, blood splattered in small patches across the tall grass, and a bit across the trees. the area has been fairly thoroughly wrecked, tree trunks dented and leaning over with the threat of snapping in the middle at any moment. in the middle of the clearing stands ikki, panting and gasping as stares at the smaller frame of agito lying on the ground.

he looks worse for wear, definitely battered and bleeding, but it’s obvious that he hadn’t left ikki unscathed either. it's obvious who had won during whatever happened between them. )

Haaa—

Hahahahaha. Fuck, okay, c’mon. Let’s go.

( one of Agito’s hands raises, swats in Ikki’s direction before he moves to-- attempt to stand himself up on his own. )

Don’t touch me, fuck!

( there’s a quiet whuff of breath as Ikki sighs, refusing to just let him struggle to his feet on his own. his hand snaps out to grab onto agito’s wrist to force him into accepting his help despite his whatever notions of pride he was clinging to. he had fought well, there's where his pride should lie. )

Tch! Stop acting like a bitch just because you lost. Let me help you.

C'mon, just hold onto me!

( Agito grumbles under his breath, something about shitty birds and dirt, but he lets Ikki help him anyway, eyes averted. )

Shut up!

( the hold on Agito’s wirst is strong, fingers firm around him as he helps pull him up to his feet. he grabs onto his shoulder with his other hand as soon as Agito’s standing upright in an attempt to help him stay steady. after all, agito had really kept fighting well past his limit. )

But we’re friiiiiiiiiends. ♥ How could you ever not want to hear my amazing voice?

(( ooc: agito is maroon and ikki is blue. ))

HELLLLOOOOOO OUT THERE—!!

Listen up, listen up! Just because the city's getting busy doesn't mean that you can forget your fucking manners. This place belongs to us. The one and only KO-GA-RA-SU-MA-RU!

( he slaps his hand against the wall behind him, palm smacking against his team emblem stickered to the wall. )

If you've got some beef, try and take it from us, otherwise shut your traps! And, make sure you remember that, you noisy bastards!


( he swings his arm forward in a grand sweeping gesture towards the audience, just as a small crow bursts from the black mess that he dares to call his hair. almost as to back him up, it cries out towards the device as well. )

Guaaaa, guaaa—!

(( ooc: fourth wall post! open to everyone and anyone! ))

[ there are several clicks, noises, and false starts to a video feed before moving into a voice only feed back to video before it silences completely for a few minutes. but during those brief seconds flashes of bright blue eyes focused on something and blonde hair can seen if you pay close attention.

finally after a few minutes of nothing but soft murmurs, a proper video feed seems to start up but all anyone can see are bare feet for another few moment or two before a face, zoomed in too closely, comes into view. luckily, this too is fixed and the audience can finally see her face--properly. ]

Th, this is on now, right? Hello?

Yeah! Just like that. See, you gotta look for the light.

( the voice comes from ikki who’s standing behind her, one arm slung over her shoulder to point towards the screen and the light in question. )

You should probably introduce yourself or something.

[ the camera shakes for a moment and a startled shout can be heard. the camera whips around and suddenly Ikki's face is now on camera ]

A, ah! I... [ a pause before the camera slowly lowers, giving the viewers a nice shot of his chest. her voice is soft, barely above a whisper. ] Ikki-kun..?

( he grins for the video feed before grabbing the device to twist it towards kururu’s face again. )

This is Sumeragi Kururu, an integral part of Kogarasumaru! Treat her kindly or suffer the consequences!

[Somehow like magic the device has turned on and Michael can be seen sitting there on the couch staring at Kira and Ikki. Ikki who happens to be wearing a cute pink apron.]

But I’m hungry.

[The apron doesn’t stay on long, Ikki’s hands immediately flying up to the perfect little bow at the base of his neck to rip the damn thing off already.]

Hell no! Cook your own damn food. We didn’t raise some good-for-nothing son who can’t even cook dinner for his parents one frickin’ night of the week!!

[Mostly unimpressed, Kira watches them argue. Nothing is burning yet, so this is hardly worth getting excited over.]

Not his fault you didn’t teach him how to cook properly.

[Michael pouts.] And ya said I wasn’t allowed in the kitchen anymore after the last time.

. . . Oh yeah. I did say that. [He lifts a hand to his chin as he thinks about it, and all the fires that Mika’s presence in the kitchen alone seemed to cause. Shit just kept catching on fire if this kid looked at it long enough.]

Whatever! Whatever! Fine. I’ll make you some goddamn stir-fry or something. [Pulling off the tie at the waist of his apron, he tosses it over towards Kira’s face.] And you’re helping! Put that shit on.

[He catches the apron without thinking, then raises an eyebrow.] Kinky. [So not happening outside the bedroom. Apron gets left behind, but he does get up.] After you.

[UGH! HE HEARD THAT COMMENT!] Ewwwwwwww. Don’t do that shit with mom where I can hear it, dad!

God, I’m going to throw you both into the fucking sea. [Grumble, grumble!]

[ooc: Blue is Kira, Pink is Ikki, and Black is Michael!]

( silence. the first couple of seconds from consists of nothing but quiet static of background noise and what sounds very suspiciously like someone breathing. and then it sounds like someone really freaking stupid doing breathing exercises. )

Hoooooowuh. HAAAAA—!

F-fucking hell! I'm alive!

( a pause. )

I'm alive. . . I'm alive. What the fuck! Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck.

( there's a quiet grumble of "I said no goddamn trades." )

Which one of you freakin' idiots made the trade?! ( oh yeah, there's a sharp jerk from shock to anger. ) WHICH ONE OF YOU?!

[[ ooc: running off to work, replies after my shift! ]]

Awauuuuuuuughhh!!

( the feed opens with the sound of ikki's horrified shriek, which doesn't actually sound like ikki. you know what, it sounds more like some girl—some girl trapped in ikki's room and just now realising that she made the worst mistake of her young life.

there's the distance sound of footsteps as ikki makes his way around the bed to pick the device off the floor. when had he kicked it off? jesus, fuck. he stares into the screen as soon as its in his hands, trying to use it like a mirror to inspect his body.

standing in front of the mirror is surprisingly cute young girl, who looks suspiciously similar to ikki and stuck in clothes that are a couple sizes much too big for her. )

Holy fucking shit—?! NO WAY. What the fuuuuuuuck is this?

Is this a manga? AM I LIVING IN A MANGA NOW? This isn't even considered a good twist in those! It's the most tired old fucking shtick!

Auuuuuugghhhhh. ( he sighs, long and suffering. god, his whole stay in this damn city. he places the device down on the dresser with a quick 'thunk', staring into it and his reflection like everything might go back to normal if he looks long enough. nope. still a chick. )

Goddaaaaamnit, I have tits.

( whelp. only one thing to do now and that's reaching up and groping herself. )

(( ooc: all replies will be coming from eruptive and for the record, this is what ikki is damned to looking like. ))

Hahahaha! Whattttttt taaaaaa hell, mahn!

( the device has been left sitting on the corner of the booth’s table and it clicks to life on it’s own. the feed starts off with a rather clear shot of both kaito and ikki sitting at the opposite ends of the table. ikki’s fist slams against the table, the overwhelming pile of glasses stationed on top of it rattling from the vibrations. )

That’sssss not. . . Thhhhhat’s not how it goes at aaaaaaall! Yooooou—You, mister beeeead hair, can’t sssssing for shiiiiit!

C’mon, c’mooooon! Try it aaagain!

Shu’ up, Shtorm King! ( and kaito bangs his fist on the table this time then sits up straight and tosses his head back. )

It goessss li’e this. ( he clears his throat. ) Every dayyy pon! Every time ish pon! I wanna ride the merry-go-rounddddd. ( clearly this is the best singing ever and so on key... ) Every day pon! Every time ishh pon! Tha’s probably sush a good idea, is it? I’s okay for it to come popping out! If that ne’er happens, it ge’s going, doesn’t it? I put on my headphoooooones and get lost in the rhythm!

Hah! ( he leans forward as he laughs, before cutting kaito off. ) Way waaaay! Opppen upppp my paaaafth. PON PON—! All theeeese things keep going onnnnnnnnnn~! Can’t yaa hear it more annnnnd more? Your feelingggggs! Your feeelingss, motherfucker! Throwwwwiin’ it. . . out carelessly, whhhhhhooooo’s the brat nooooow? Hmm! Good, yaaa croc bastard! Yaaaa make me happppy~!

( there’s a good two solid minutes of slurred and off-key singing between the two of them, completely mangling a perfectly good song and the device records the whole thing, even the moment where ikki slides into kaito’s side of the booth, shoulders bumping. )

Wuahahaha! How the. . .How taaa fuck do ya eveeen knowww this sonhg?

Ish soooommme stuff Gazelle likshhhh. The fuck did mmmmmmmmmy lighter go?

( one moment . . . kaito starts fumbling about for his lighter, after slinging an arm around ikki’s shoulders of course. THEY ARE THE BEST BUDDIES, and the device clicks off as kaito's hand swipes it off the table. )


(( OOC: final post before I move into my new apartment! kaito is blue and ikki is royal blue! ))

Auuuuugh—!

( that's the first word that the device manages to record as it clicks to life from a very clumsy swipe of ikki's hand. it's obviously resting on the counter, camera pointed directly onto ikki. . . and what he was doing.

actually. what the fuck was he doing? because it really looks like ikki is in an apron, and a pastel pink one at that, with his hair tied back with a dark skull-print bandanna. one might think why he even bothered, his hair was still a mess and it did nothing to help revive his manliness from that horrible pink cloth nightmare he's got on over his clothes. he's about wrist deep in dishes until— )

Wha-What the fuck. Is that— ( he sighs, very hard and very forced. )

How do I keep finding these things? What does she even do with them. . .?

( there's a moment's pause before ikki fishes out a very lovely pair of lacy underwear from the sink. he spends a moment staring at them, before stepping away and towards the device to place it into one of the little piles he had started on the kitchen counter.

then he notices. the device is on. )

Whoa—!! Holy shit, when did this damn thing turn on?!

( the last thing the feed catches is a good shot of ikki's hand before turning it off. )

((ooc: ikki traded away his memories for the time being! ))

Oooooooi! Oooooii!

I'm looking for a job. Any of you guys know someone who's looking for workers? C'mon, there's a whole freaking network of you people, one of you has to know something. I need some damn money!

Manual labour's the easiest, but whatever, I'm not fucking picky. I don't caaaaaaare.


( PRIVATE TO KAZU! )
( PRIVATE TO AKGITO! )
( PRIVATE TO KAITO! )

( the device tumbles out of ikki’s pocket and onto the ground, clattering against the ground as it quietly whirs to life. when the feed starts, it’s all static and fuzz, the audio drowned by the intense volume of ikki’s voice as he yells in fury, but the video clearly captures him standing in the middle of kazu’s bedroom. there’s something in his hands, and it looks something like roller-skates, but not quite. the audio corrects itself just as he shoves them towards kazu, face alight with fury. )

I can’t fucking believe you! Do I really have to give you same fucking talk I gave Akito?!

No trades! We don’t make trades unless there are no other options!

NO! TRADES!

Where did you—damn it, listen for a second! I didn't trade for anything!

( no, there is no listening happening here. he just tucks the skates underneath his arm and gives kazu a hard push. )

No, you listen! You can’t fucking pull shit like this!

( he stumbles away—half a step, before a hand snaps out to knot in ikki's shirt. and shake him, maybe, until his hearing comes back. )

Why would I trade for them? They're supposed to be back home anyway!

Because you’ve seen the state of my current trecks! Why the hell wouldn’t you?! Only you or Akito would be dumb enough to make some stupid trade for them!

( ikki doesn’t take to that lightly, his own hand grabbing onto kazu’s shoulder as he starts shoving him back towards the wall. he’s trying to corner him, to shove him into a place where he can’t get out. )

So, what, you jumped to me? ( startled, he gives ground, but his grip doesn't yield. ) I wouldn't, all right? I haven't made any more deals after the first one!

You’re too likely of a suspect! ( he huffs, and lets go because, ugh, it has to be akito. he’s been mia lately and kazu is too transparent. it probably wasn’t him, plus nothing seemed to be missing from him. he’s got kazu against the wall already, so his eyes immediately flicker towards the window as a means of escape and finding akito to beat the shit out of him. it takes him two seconds to walk over there, jerk it open and throw himself out the window, all furious thoughts and recklessness.

it’s just too bad he hasn’t put on his trecks yet because there’s nothing to keep him from falling. he lets out a loud yelp and then he’s gone and out of sight. )

( on recording goes a noise like an incredibly tragic cross between a choke and a sneeze because what the fuck, ikki. as Kazu sort of. scrambles to the sill. )

Kaaazzzzuuuuu.

( comes the pathetic whine from the wall ledge, one of ikki’s hands holding onto it desperately to keep himself from falling and splattering against the pavement like some sort of suicide jumper. he’s got his trecks cradled protectively between his arm and body, refusing to risk damaging them in even the slightest manner. )

Fuck. Help me up!

( the longest of all silences. kazu reaches out, all the same. )

... this better not be a jinx on the rest of the month.

(( ooc: ikki is royal blue & kazu is firebrick red. also, backdated to the 1st. replies either from kazu, ikki, or a combo of both. ))

Geez.

Do you know how long I've been here? Four months! This great god has been cooped up in this tiny city for for months and the deities, my fellows, have yet to so much as say a word to me! Who the hell taught you guys manners? A barn animal?

You guys better listen up because the Great Minami Ikki-sama is calling you out!

I'm looking to make a deal.

( no ic cut, just for context )
Hell no, we’re bringing this bastard back with us. He broke the pact! ( he sounds fairly offended by this. he loops his arms around agito’s elbows, lifting them up for kazu. )

Get his wrists too!

... is that what this is ab--fuck. ( was that waking movement. is Agito moving. hastily, Kazu ties an extra knot around the wrists, because however bad of an idea this is, it's worse to let Agito get free. )

Seriously, that's why we're here?

Dude! You don’t break the fucking pact. ( he locks eyes with kazu then, staring at him intently, almost threateningly. )

And, you know, for the slug-shit.

( blink, blink, blink. okay, okay, Agito’s almost there, almost awake-- and then there is just glaring. ) FUCK! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING-- OW!

( don’t mind this shark, just, you know, trying to get himself loose because fuck you Ikki. ) I’ll kill you for this!

( unfortunately, Kazu yanks him away with the loose end. huh, this is kind of like a leash, isn't it. ) … Sorry, man, it's for your own good!

We’re taking you back home. ( he gives the rope a test jerk, making sure it’s safe and secure before he bothers to try and move him. damn, good job, kazu. this is perfect. ) Alright, let’s get him the fuck outta here.

( those seemed to be the magic words to cue in Akira, utterly baffled at how these (way too noisy) guys kept getting inside his apartment in the last few days to steal Agito-- but the scene unfolding in front of his eyes as he opened the door was... something else. )

AKIRA! DON’T JUST STAND THERE, YOU SHITHEAD!

… Ah, but it’s really not my business how your team likes to play. ( pause, eyeing the ropes. so damn weird, man. all of you. ) It’ll be a problem if you break him any further, though.

( says the guy who broke his ribs to start, come on. ) We were trying to keep him down!

We won’t let him escape this time!

(( ooc: ikki is royal blue, kazu is firebrick red, agito is dark blue, and finally akira is sienna brown. ))