This place needs a new sense of humour.

[ ooc: backdated to ice, ice baby because it's funny and i'm an asshole. bucky's an ice-sculpture outside. find him or text him. ]

[ It's mid-morning, he's had three cups of coffee, and there are six bullets in his gun. Those are details nobody needs to know but he's thinking of making them public knowledge anyway. When he smiles it's sharp and wide and so very full of the Christmas spirit, obviously. ]

It's that time of year again. [ In seventy years he might be giving this message and cleaning knives, who knows. Just be thankful he's not crazy right now. ] And curse or not there are a few penalties. [ Sweet, innocent --. ] Let's just say if you're struck with the deep desire to lay one on Captain America? Don't. They wouldn't find your body.

[ Another flash of a grin. ] Only one who gets to do that is his fiance.

( ooc: ahahahaha so Bucky can't help himself, he is a child. Feel free to respond to this post via the usual network routes or if you want to run into him and lay one on him he'll be at the station then walking through town on his patrols before finally heading home for the day. Come poke him with sexy sticks. )

[ He's on his way home from work, tired and kind of cranky because sometimes you just have to work overnight. Which means when he stops to get enough coffee to deal with taking Crepe for a walk and feeding Bagel he's faced with the hoards.

God, now he has a headache. ]

Jesus Christ, again?

( ooc: no character twins but face twins, canon mates and old game muses are okay with me. )

[ He's watching the fireworks from the kitchen window because at least that way Bagel and Crepe can't escape and still have him around to stop them being like why did daddy leave us with the loud noises for now. He's already missing half a shirt and his favourite book because of October and he knows it's not good for either of their diets. Currently he's nursing a beer, wearing a soft looking shirt that's pushed up to the elbows. ]

You're kind of late for fourth of July. [ A hum and he takes a sip of his drink, the sky lit up with bright, brilliant colours. ] Or early. Guess it's either one of 'em future things or a celebration I just don't know about.

Someone gonna explain it t'me?

( but how do I know if I'll make it through?  )

( ooc: so Bucky's been memory theatre'd with a deleted scene from captain america: the first avenger. please start at 00.23 and ignore the hideous non-cg'd tank at the end, merci. )

[ Half an hour of trying to get a clear set of his own fingerprints and Bucky kind of has to admit defeat. It was hard to notice at first, the way he didn't leave marks in the condensation on the milk bottle, how the brass of the door didn't have his vanishing handprint. He doesn't feel sick, is the think, but there's an off feeling in his stomach all the same.

So he leans back in his chair before he starts the feed, a furrow between his eyes. ] So I know a lot of you guys are real sick right now but has anyone noticed anything kinda ... unexplainable? [ He breathes out of the corner of his mouth and then rubs a hand over his brow. ] Things that don't make sense but ain't like an illness.

[ He could have hidden this if he wanted, pretended it wasn't happening. But with everything that's been going on lately he wants to make sure. ]

[ He's sticking to audio because he mostly looks like shit right now. That's what he gets for being used to his cushy life of sleeping like a normal person and then going right back to war etiquette. Soon he's going to find a beer and a cigarette and maybe a sandwich and then pass the fuck out.

Probably like in the next five minutes if he can get his limbs to co-ordinate themselves. ]

All right, roll call. Who do I have to be worried about?

[ He doesn't specify he means people he actually likes. He's too tired to even be sarcastic. ]

[ Bucky's at his desk down at the precinct. The video scans over it for a moment, the piles of paperwork he hasn't done yet, that dumb framed photo of Steve punching Hitler, the gun. It stays at the last object for a beat too long before it swings up to Sergeant Barnes' frowning face. ]

So it's come to my attention that some of you jerks think you're allowed a peice of Captain America. [ Mouth twisting in a way that is uncharacteristic. ] Well, I'm here to clue you in. You can't. 'Cause he's mine.

[ Letting that sink in for a minute. ] So you're gonna have to think real hard about talking t'him next time. He's taken. By me. [ Giving the camera the evil eye. ] And I've got swell aim.

[ The room is a bar.

It's old - peeling posters and dusty glasses against the walls - and the only two souls inside are the soldier sitting on a stool and the bartender who's face is obscured by shadow. Rows of doors are lined up on the other side of the room and occasionally the bartender takes a halting step towards it, dragging his leg slightly. There's a gun on the counter and the filled tumbler in Bucky's hands is red in the dull light.

Every beat or two and the room shakes with the sound of an explosion and he doesn't look up, doesn't flinch, but his hand moves to the gun beside him, fingers dragging along the barrel. ]

( ooc: so i figure this can be as surreal and strange as we want it, and i'm pretty happy to go along any route. come dream hop. make him go through a door etc. )

bucky barnes

@steve rogers: if i were going crazy would i get out of work?
less than 10 seconds ago from Network

no seriously i don't know what i'm doing.
about 2 minutes ago from Network

what the hell is this thing?
about 3 minutes ago from Network

what the hell does fml mean?
about 5 minutes ago ago from Network

the only thing that could probably be worse than cold coffee is a hoax call #fml.
about 2 hour(s) ago from Network

there is nothing worse than skipping breakfast for cold coffee.
about 2 hour(s) ago from Network

You know - I was gonna say something about the City and how you should definitely look a gift horse in the mouth when you're here but I figure this place has learnt it's lesson. Nothing like puking up your guts and noticin' it's green, huh?

[ He's not teasing much, he still remembers being fourteen and sneaking into bars come St. Patrick's Day, so. ]

Next time if the beer's not doing what the beer's supposed to do, might make sense to be a little suspicious, yeah? [ Information hour with Sgt. Barnes. ] And remember, the gods of hangovers tend to think kindly on you if you tip your waitress. They're usually the ones left to clean up the reminders anyhow. And if you're looking for a hair of the dog at least you won't be banned.

-- Sure thing, ma'am.

[ Bucky's device is sitting in the hall of his apartment building where he put it ages ago. Of course these things seem to have a mind of their own so he doesn't really notice when it starts rolling. Because he's busy, shirt sleeves rolled up and a broom in his hands. His landlady's door is open and there's music drifting out but Bucky's more concerned with what he's doing. Of course he had to help her, you couldn't grow up in the era that he did and not.

Which is why he's sweeping away the remainder of the curse. He bends to pick up stuff as he goes, soaked phonebooks and catelogues that have been waiting for their owner, the front of his shirt stained with water but he doesn't really care. Of course when he moves to toss the stuff in his waiting garbage can he spots his device, lifts it up.

His grin is crooked and wide though, as though all of this makes him feel good. Maybe it does. ] Glad to see the City ain't trying to be Atlantis anymore. [ Leaning against the handle of the broom now. ] We'll get it back to normal soon.

[ Which is Bucky speak for help the old ladies, City. You better or he'll judge you. With his fists. ]

woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.

[ A moment later. ]

not sure why I typed that but hey now I'm hungry.

( ooc: basically bucky's future in one curse. all replies will either be audio/video because he hates typing anyway. )

[ Bucky's crouched just above a body, bloody fingers searching a pocket. He manages to angle it so that most of the gore and grime isn't displayed but so that it does show the uniform. Because as much as he's a soldier he gets that most people should be kept far, far away. ] Anyone recognise the uniform? Kinda feel like we should know if an army's on the loose around here.

[ Bucky's luck has been ticking away since the moment the curse started, the alleyway darkens slightly, a shadow falling over him and the body. Bucky twists, starts to speak out, to get whoever it is to back off and leave. But Bucky's whole body tightens in fear, the device picking up the widening look of terror in his eyes just before it slips out of his fingers. ]

Hail HYDRA! [ In a flash his gun comes up, a burst of sound as he fires straight into the creatures chest. Blood hits the wall but Bucky's already moving, on his feet in seconds, device kicked in a clatter against the stones. Another noise filters through and he twists on his feet. ] Cut off one head.

I get it, I get it. [ Voice strained, nothing but gunfire for a long, drawn out beat. He's backed against a wall, but they're just HYDRA agents, they're just --. ]

We made you. [ A figure steps into the mouth of the alleyway, the feed picking up the edge of a white lab coat, the swing of a bloodied needle. The man's head is bowed, but the light reflects against his glasses, smile wide and unhinged. ] We made you.

[ Another step. ] You belong to us.

[ You don't fuck with Captain America ... More importantly, you don't fuck with Steve Rogers. Because Bucky Barnes has always been one step behind him to make sure that was pretty much public knowledge. You don't mess with Steve, because if you mess with Steve you mess with Bucky and that's always been the way since they were knee high and throwing a punch solved all problems. ]

Anyone wanna tell me why Captain America has a black eye? [ A quiet hum. ] C'mon, fess up. I promise to only shoot non-vital organs.

[ When the feed kicks in it mostly zeros in on the dog in Bucky's arms. Crepe's tail is thumping happily away to herself and it would be a normal picture if not for the icing in her fur or the way she's licking her lips. Bucky looks torn between finding the entire thing hilarious and breaking down because what. ]

Uh. So did anyone else wake up to discover their house was pretty much made of cake? [ The camera swings round to the front door and the suspiciously chewed and dog shaped hole in what used to be wood. ] I like something sweet as much as the next fella, but I don't really wanna live in it. [ He's not six anymore, he knows that's not feasible. ] And I'm not sure I actually wanna be eaten out of house and home. [ As if sensing the meaning of his words, Crepe licks his chin. ]

Is everyone having this problem?

[ By slamming down the device on his bathroom sink he's somehow managed to turn it on. Not that he's paying any attention, opening a bottle of vodka with his teeth and pouring it over the bare wound in his shoulder. It looks like he's been stabbed, or it does when he twists to try and see it in the mirror. ] Fuck.

[ Bloody fingers pick up his shirt and press it to the gash, huffing out a breath before he's trying to grab for the needle and thread. That's pretty much when he sees the little blinking light. ] Anyone wanna fess up ownership of this one?

[ The video turns on when paws stamp on it and the feed blurs when blue cotton and brown fuzzy felt drag along it. The voice sounds kind of softer than it would before. Bucky's voice - but quieter. Muffled maybe. ] Crepe, Crepe.

[ She's got something caught in her teeth, a bear by the looks of it, and she pulls it up to the couch and nuzzles at it with her noise. Paws pin it down and she lays her head on its stomach. ]

Okay, that's better. Now, stop dragging me 'round the place, okay kid?



(( ooc: actual teddy bear bucky barnes. because a-babies vs. x-babies made my heart giddy and I couldn't resist. ))

[ The video feed cuts in halfway through a conversation, Howard waving the thing around as he shifts from where he's obviously been working on something to go check the door. ]

Don't flap your cap, Barnes, I'm sure the thing ain't-- [ The sound of a door being rattled in its frame carries even if the device doesn't pick up the visual. ] --stuck.

[ This is Howard trying to brush off the fact he's clearly wrong. ]

Ah, must be a fault in the electrics, but it's never done that before.

[ He comes into view, now, a charming smile spread across the screen, Bucky visible a little further back and to his side. ]

If there's anyone in the area who can come help a couple'a fellas out, we'd appreciate it. [ And forgetting the device again, bending down to assess the situation. ] Can't get to the controls from in here, gonna have to wait it out, buddy.

[ Bucky hates jogging.

It seems kind of pointless, running around with no real purpose at hand. It just reminds him of cramped boot camps, of men training to be soldiers in sunny little towns when the reality had been nothing like that. So he's not the biggest fan, and since coming here he's put it off. Sure, he keeps his aim strong, still works out but he doesn't exactly stick to a regime.

Right now though, that's precisely what he's doing. If it isn't clearing his head, it's keeping him from focusing on anything beyond breathing and the thump of his feet against the ground. He doesn't have any of the flashy kit some joggers seem to have either, lucky enough to find faded green in the stores, trainers that have seen better days, nothing too futuristic, nothing out of his time. It makes him feel more at home. Anyway, who needs to have a heart rate monitor when you can hear it in your eardrums?

But the one thing that does temper his jogging ability is crowds. He hadn't noticed until he'd come up to the park, and then it's pretty much clear. ] Awh hell, again?

[ Jogging on the spot for a second. The place is over run with people he doesn't recognise and it's a pretty big clue that it's one of those weekends. ]

( ooc: okay so no character twins pls! canon mates is fine as well as having face twins because I enjoy that but no other Bucky's because his poor brain would break and then where would we be? )